Repent and turn from all your transgressions, so iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all your transgressions, by which you have transgressed; and get a new heart and a new spirit...
~ Ezekiel 18:30-32
Anyone who knows my daughters Phoenix (3) and Journey (2) can probably tell you a funny story about something they've done. Usually they don't hold back their noteworthy personalities. We, their parents, aren't even spared their pint-sized wrath. On a daily basis we see everything from dancing in diapers on the coffee table, playing dress up with ALL the clothes, writing all over Kylen's homework, and having a full out brawl over jumbo Lego blocks. And as you can imagine, someone is always in trouble...big trouble.
A few days ago, I was upset with them over one of their many shenanigans. I walked to another room, but I noticed how quiet they were. They knew that they were in big trouble, and I wanted to let it marinate a little. Finally they both walk in with very solemn faces, but they remain quiet. But when the silence was too much to bear, Phoenix softly asks, "Mommy, are you mad at us?" I didn't respond, and she repeats the question. Finally I say, "Well, I am a little upset because you two were not being very nice. They walk away with remorse written all over their sweet little faces, and even though I knew it was temporary remorse, I had to smile. A few minutes later, Phoenix returns and says, "Mommy, are you happy now?"
She really couldn't feel comfortable knowing that I was still upset. Despite the fact that they write all over their beds with markers. Despite the fact that they play in the closet when they should be sleeping. Despite the fact that they spend most of their day behaving like Tom and Jerry. If they think I'm upset, they are restless until they know that I'm okay again. They want to know that they are still loved. They want to know that all is well again.
Shouldn't we be that way with God? When we know that we've done wrong, shouldn't we be so remorseful that we can't even sleep until we get it right? Shouldn't we grapple for His affection and anxiously crave a renewed relationship. We should pace the floor and wonder what He's thinking. Is He mad? Is He happy now? Does He still love me? The agony we should feel when we offend our Savior!
Repentence and reconciliation with God is no small thing. We can't passively repent. It must be fervent effort and we should have a burning desire to right our wrongs as quickly as possible. He's forgiving and loving, but He also knows if we are truly remorseful. Today I'm asking for a renewed spirit...one that prompts me to urgently renew my relationship with Christ.
